This man will translate your boring CV tasks into detailed jargon

Charlie Benson
Content Marketing Executive

Treading the line between sounding professional on your CV and communicating clearly can be tricky. 

That's what inspired K.O. Myers to create the Tumblr account: Résumé Speak. Myers translates everyday tasks and office responsibilities into something that would sound 'impressive' on a CV. 

So, something so simple as typing numbers into an expense report at work becomes: "Rigorously onboarded real time numerical financial outlay data into an industry-standard user-moderated electronic expenditure tracking and explanation framework." 



I spoke to Myers to find out more about his motivations behind the account. He tells me he launched Résumé Speak "during a long and frustrating job hunt." 

He continues, "I remember thinking that some of the things I was putting on my résumé, like 'event planning', were useful skills, but there was still this pressure to write a needlessly wordy explanation of how I'd used them. 

"I realised that almost any mundane task, translated into that obnoxious jargon, would sound exactly as impressive while being mostly useless." 


Now, Myers is a business video producer in Des Moines, Iowa, but he keeps the account going. Every time he's been on the job hunt, he says, he encounters the same "huge power differential between employers and applicants". 

His experience has been that employers "make us jump through these ridiculous hoops in order to be considered." Hence the pressure that comes with CV-writing. 

It's certainly an inventive way to poke fun at what you shouldn't do on your CV. ​



Here are some of our favourite Résumé Speak posts:


1. "Fed the CEO's fish."




2. "Picked out my clothes."




3. "Making money". 




4. "Accidentally told the same story to a co-worker for the third time." 




5. "Doodling on the handouts during a meeting." 




6. "Rescheduled an appointment." 




7. "Put some milk in my coffee." 



You can follow Résumé Speak here



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