15 Of The Worst Excuses For Missing Work

Below are some of the worst excuses for not going in to work we've ever seen. They're all real, and we recommend not using any of them. 

1. "I don't want to lose the parking space outside of my house"

Good start, though if work isn't something worth losing the space for, what is?

2. "I had a heart attack this morning - but I'm all better now"

Just a bit of heart failure, no biggie. If you're just after a day off, perhaps it's best to choose something a little less severe.

3. " I donated too much blood"

Attempting to come across as a good person to avoid suspicion - nice try.

4. "My dog is stressed"

Oh wait sorry I meant 'I'm stressed, always get those two confused'.

5. "I swallowed mouthwash"

Not a great start to the morning, but it's hardly going to affect your ability to do your job.

6. "I have nothing to wear for work, my wife burned all my clothes"

Going for the sympathy vote, are we? No dice. There are these things called shops...

7. "A psychic told me to stay home today"

Unless your boss is superstitious, this probably won't fly.

8. "A can fell out of the fridge and I injured my toe"


Nil pois for believability, but 10 for originality. Though it doesn't seem quite severe enough, perhaps try the next one...

9. " A fridge fell on me"

You can't argue with that. Sure to leave your boss bewildered and slightly concerned - success.

10. "I drank anti-freeze by mistake and had to go to the hospital"

Don't you just hate the fact that anti-freeze looks so much like Coke these days, they really should label things better. You might leave your boss wondering why you didn't die, though. Therefore you probably won't get away with this one.

11. "I ate too much at a party"

Again, we think you mean "drank". You're fooling no one. You also just made employee mistake #1 - never admit to being out or at a party on a school night.

12. "My brother was kidnapped by a drug cartel while in Mexico"

Go big or go home. This tactic is a little far-fetched but your boss may buy it depending on how many US dramas they watch.

13. "I'm stuck in my house due to a broken front door"

Your boss is going to turn around and tell you to climb out of a window. Or you know, use the back door.

14. "I was injured during sex"

Well it was only a matter of time before someone involved sex, wasn't it? Going for the awkward angle may leave your boss so dumbfounded that it might just work. Beware the consequences though, office gossip travels fast!

15. "I've earned it"

Oh yeah? Well done... NOT. This, the crowning jewel and not even an excuse, it's the in-your-face truth. High risk factor but equally big potential for success. If you're the only one who can do what you do, then go ahead. If you're just an average employee, perhaps avoid blurting this one out.

Related Content

The Coolest Offices In The World 
10 Things You Should Never Do At Work
8 Things You Should Never Say At Work 


© 2016 GradTouch. Terms | Privacy